Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sam Harris: On becoming a dad

Sam Harris has always been one of my favourite entertainers. Below is an excerpt of a recent article where the actor/singer shares his journey of adoption. Sam writes very openly about his feelings while telling his story from a gay man's perspective. I really appreciated his honesty. It's a good heartfelt read. Enjoy!

Sam Harris writes:
I'm a dad. I can't believe I get to say those words. “I'm a dad.” When I was growing up it wasn't possible for a gay man to utter that phrase unless he’d once had a straight family. There was often shame, sadness, and guilt around the husband that fathered children and then shocked his wife and kids by flinging the closet door open and attending his son's graduation accompanied by his new Yves Saint Laurent–donning male lover. It wasn't that I'd come to terms with a childless existence as a gay man. It simply wasn't part of the possible picture, so it just never came up. I was content that I could thrive in an open relationship with a man that I loved. But 20 years later the parental horizon has completely changed.

This is the first real generation of gay men and women who are adopting as tried-and-true, real-life couples -- legally and everything. As soon as it was possible I wanted to be a dad. All of my natural fatherhood desires that had been sequestered to an out-of-the-way corner of my heart were suddenly ignited. That was about 10 years ago. But life, the development of my relationship with my partner, Danny, the flux and reflux of a career in show business, living in New York and then Los Angeles, Danny's development of his own successful career, and my coming to terms with alcoholism (oh, that!) distracted and derailed us a bit.

In retrospect, I know that life is perfect and happens in the way it’s supposed to, in the time it’s supposed to. That would be one of the phrases Danny hated. Like many couples, gay or straight, we didn't arrive at the idea of having children at the same time... READ MORE