What are the Chris Wars? It’s the war that has been waged for the past several millennia — sorry, hang on, I’m getting new information — for the past five years, between: Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pine.
The rules of Chris Wars are simple: Seven categories, weighted equally, with points awarded based on placement within each category.
Each category measures something different, while also
serving to measure the exact same thing — the most essential and fundamental quality that a Chris can have in the world:
Chris-ness. Three Chrises — Evans, Pine, and Hemsworth —
enter. One Chris
leaves. This is their story.
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